Tuesday, April 17, 2012

From the Search Logs: Man Eating Daffodils

Someone, it seems, stumbled across this blog while doing a search on "human eating daffodils". As you all know, I'd love to help this person... but in this case, there's kind of a problem. It's... well... it's the syntax.

If the search was for (pictures of, or information on) a "human, eating daffodils," then I'd say it's a bad idea. At least, this home cooking site includes it on a list of poisonous/non-edible flowers. I'm not saying you could use this to speed up your inheritance from rich old Uncle Ambrosius, but I'm betting that eating daffodils could make you pretty sick.

If, on the other hand, you were looking for "human-eating daffodils," then I'm sorry to report that the Mad Science Consortium has not finished refining that particular project. We have carnivorous daffodils available, and they do eat people. Unfortunately, they also eat birds, squirrels, house pets, mice, snakes, insects, and rubber tires. (One prototype was planted a bit too close to the water, and cleaned out our Mutant Koi pond.) Designing a strain that feeds exclusively on human beings turns out to be surprisingly tricky. Rest assured, however, that sooner or later we will overcome the remaining obstacles and produce a species of daffodil that feeds exclusively on humans.

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Feel free to leave comments; it lets me know that people are actually reading my blog. Interesting tangents and topic drift just add flavor. Linking to your own stuff is fine, as long as it's at least loosely relevant. Be civil, and have fun!