Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Secondborn Knew This Would End Badly

So, as I'm driving over to Firstborn's school to pick him up -- he having been struck down by the same eldritch curse that flattened his younger brother last night -- Secondborn decides that he has something to tell me.

"I knew dis would end badly," he says, from the back seat.

"You knew what would end badly?" I ask, being distracted by a combination of stress, exhaustion, and traffic.

"Firstborn at school," he tells me. "I knew dat would end badly."

"Yeah?" I say, glancing at him in the rear view mirror. "It would have been a lot more helpful if you'd told us that this morning."

"I was keeping it a secwet," he says earnestly. "It was a secret dat I knew."

There is a long, long silence. Finally, I say, "Child, you are making me irrationally angry. Please stop talking."

Seriously, what was I doing in that former life? Sacrificing bunnies and kittens? Transporting underage nuns across state lines for immoral purposes? Helping Ayn Rand write her books? Whatever it was, I'm sorry already.

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